My Creepy-Crawly Month

If I see one more creepy crawler, I’m going to scream! We recently had to have some work done on our sewage pipes, and it stirred up a bunch of house centipedes. The first one I saw flitting across my bathroom at about 1:00 in the morning! And the last one I pulled out of the kitchen drain with my bare hands with some orange rind that my daughter accidentally dropped in the sink. Oh, I was NOT happy at all!

Fast forward only a few days. Several stink bugs decided that my house would be their perfect home. Eventually, one of them landed on my right cheek just as I was beginning to drift off to sleep. I don’t think I’ve ever jumped so high in my life as I flew out of bed trying to get away from the disgusting thing.

Then, this week tiny little gnats discovered they could squeeze through our window screens. Between them and the fleas that my dog brought home from the vet, my kids and I have been itching at every thought of pests. And I feel awful because my son and daughter are suffering from the first bug bites of the year.

So, a good part of today was spent stocking up on pest-killing gear (kid and pet safe, of course) and going all postal on these unwelcome guests! And on the way home, who should pop out of my heating vent in the car? It was a big fat wood spider! Why do these creepy crawlers love us so much this year?

After a lot of scratching, my daughter finally asked me today why some bugs have to be so mean. Honestly, I have no idea. I love so many insects: butterflies, ladybugs, fireflies, earthworms, fuzzy caterpillars, pill bugs, etc. They are so fascinating and exciting. Still, I sometimes wish the pesky, aggressive creepy crawlers didn’t exist. And I always wish that nature would stay out of my home. If my tiny crawly neighbors would stay out of my business, I’d gladly stay out of theirs!

Seeing Myself Through My Daughter's Eyes

My daughter's family portrait

It may sound strange, but I find solace in my children’s drawings of me. They can offer such profound and touching insights into my son and daughter and how they see the world around them. For example, my daughter had to draw a family portrait for art class this week. Looking over her artwork, I realized that she doesn’t see me as I see myself.

I’m subconscious about my extra pounds, short height, and a few other small physical features. But in my little girl’s drawing, all that doesn’t matter. All the members in our family are around the same height and have no signs of love handles anywhere. And even though we aren’t perfect, we seem happy and content as can be just being together.

Undoubtedly, that is how it should be. That is what I try to teach my son and daughter. Yet, I find myself being hypercritical of every little flaw I see within myself or on my body. I need to find a way to finally practice what I preach!

I want my little princess to continue seeing the best in people. I want her to always see the best in herself, too. Consequently, it is time for me to face my inner critic and tell this ugly voice it is time to go. It is time for that critic to stop harassing me and abusing me with her insults and wisecracks.

It is time to start loving myself for who I am, regardless of my imperfections. I need to take a lessen from my daughter and find my inner and outer beauty. I must find a way to permanently shed this unhealthy image that has haunted me most of my life.

My future AND my daughter’s future depend on it! I should NOT be living this way, and I will NOT pass this flawed thinking down to my daughter. The ugliness, self-hate, and low self-esteem stop here. It’s time to get comfortable in my own skin and be happy with who I am--for me AND my little princess.

The Loss of My Little Helper

I am mourning tonight the disappearance of my little helper. Once upon a time, my 7-year-old son was incredibly eager to always try to help me. He took great joy in little chores around the house and was always asking permission to do this or that for me. Even when he was 2-years-old he loved to clean and help me around the house or the yard.

But today marks the end of a beautiful and amazing era: my little helper isn’t so little anymore and he has now decided he hates chores. Say it isn’t so! I had mistakenly believed this time would never come. I had always assumed that since cleanliness seemed like second nature to my little boy, I would never have to worry about him. Boy, was I wrong!

This evening turned into a huge battle with my son over a tiny little chore…something he used to volunteer for with excitement. Now he tells me that chores aren’t any fun, and I am mean to make him do any work around our house. His words cut me to the deepest part of my heart. Once I was so proud of his strong work ethic and desire to be helpful. Now, I’m left wondering where I went wrong.

In reality, though, my son’s current state of mind has absolutely nothing to do with my parenting skills or lack thereof. He is now becoming much more independent, so he doesn’t like when he is told what to do anymore. Oh, when he chooses to clean he is still an eager beaver, but as soon as I mention that I want him to do that same chore, his stubbornness knocks all sense out of him. He whines, complains, drags his feet, and finds every way possible to take longer or not do nearly as good of a job. Seeing how much effort he puts into not giving his best effort is simultaneously infuriating and saddening. I know I have my work cut out for me until this phase comes to an end.

Maybe someday my little helper will return—and if he does, I promise to never take him for granted again! Maybe he is gone forever. Either way, I must find a means to show my son again why hard work and wholehearted effort is important in life. Slackers and procrastinators get nowhere in this life, and I want the best for my son. I want to see him flourish and succeed, not doom himself to mediocrity and the bare minimum.

Has your child ever gone through a similar stage? Did your little helper ever return? Did you find a way to show your child that working hard and helping out is a crucial part of life? I’d love to hear about your experience!

Mother's Day Reflections

It is amazing how much we can change, while still being the same person. A long, long time ago–ok, more like 10 years ago–I was convinced that motherhood was not for me. I strongly believed that there was no way I’d ever become a mother. My childhood had been nowhere near normal. I didn’t have a very close relationship with my parents. So, I was convinced that I would be the world’s worst mother. I have always love children, but what did I know about properly raising kids? Ultimately, I couldn’t justify putting any child through that uncertainty.


Now those days seem like just a distant memory–almost like it was a lifetime ago. This Sunday will be my 8th Mother’s Day, and I’ll be eating up my two children’s attention and affection. They are now old enough to understand what Mother’s Day is, and they get thoroughly excited every time it comes around again. I’ve been getting showered with extra drawings, hugs, kisses, and I-love-you’s all week. It’s great to be a mom!

I know I’ll never be a perfect mother. I make mistakes and always will. But judging from my kids’ infectious laughter, frequent smiles, and affection even towards each other (at least most of the time), I must be doing something right. According to my 5-year-old daughter, I am “the bestest Mommy ever” and she is so thankful that I take such good care of her and her brother. Who knew I had it in me?

I can’t imagine my life without my children. They are such an enormous part of who I am today that I can’t fathom being me without them. I look back and realize that I was a frightened, scarred, and insecure girl 10 years ago. I had the sense to know that motherhood isn’t easy and shouldn’t be approached lightly. However, I failed to see all that I learned from my childhood and less-than-perfect relationship with my parents. All that happened in the past helped prepare me for the mother I am today because I was so determined not to repeat my own parents’ mistakes. I’m so relieved that I finally gave motherhood a chance, for it has changed my life forever!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers out there! If you are a mother, grandmother, or other special lady, I hope you have a relaxing day full of love and laughter. And for everyone else, don’t forget to spoil the women in your lives. You know your life wouldn’t be the same without them.