Wordless Wednesday: Happy Halloween!

A big spider-ly 'hi!' and wishing you and your family a safe Halloween.

Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkins

Do you and your family carve or decorate your pumpkins for Halloween?

Super-Duper, Super, SUPER Old

My 7-year-old son and I were talking just a little bit ago. He wanted to know more about a bracelet I had given him about a year ago. He just found the bracelet in the bottom of his toy box and was dismayed that it is starting to fray around the edges. This conversation transpired:

Son: “Mommy, how old is this bracelet? It’s starting to come apart, and I’m sad!”

Me: “Well, I got it while I was still in high school, so I’m guessing it is 11 or 12 years old.”

Son: “Really? That’s super-duper, super old!”

Me: “But I’m almost 30. If that bracelet is ‘super-duper, super old’, what does that make me?”

Son (without hesitation): “You are super-duper, super, SUPER old!”

Yes, thanks, kid! Thanks for your support here. Turning 30 won’t be difficult enough without my kids putting their two cents in.

I have to laugh, though. Just wait until HE is about to turn 30. Just wait until HE has a little kid tell HIM he is ancient. His time will come. Life has a way of turning full circle and repeating itself, just with different roles or different players. Although I don’t recall, I have a feeling I once was in my son’s shoes and called my own parents old. And now I know how they must have felt. The universe has one crazy sense of humor!

How do your kids feel about your age?

Mother's Day Reflections

It is amazing how much we can change, while still being the same person. A long, long time ago–ok, more like 10 years ago–I was convinced that motherhood was not for me. I strongly believed that there was no way I’d ever become a mother. My childhood had been nowhere near normal. I didn’t have a very close relationship with my parents. So, I was convinced that I would be the world’s worst mother. I have always love children, but what did I know about properly raising kids? Ultimately, I couldn’t justify putting any child through that uncertainty.


Now those days seem like just a distant memory–almost like it was a lifetime ago. This Sunday will be my 8th Mother’s Day, and I’ll be eating up my two children’s attention and affection. They are now old enough to understand what Mother’s Day is, and they get thoroughly excited every time it comes around again. I’ve been getting showered with extra drawings, hugs, kisses, and I-love-you’s all week. It’s great to be a mom!

I know I’ll never be a perfect mother. I make mistakes and always will. But judging from my kids’ infectious laughter, frequent smiles, and affection even towards each other (at least most of the time), I must be doing something right. According to my 5-year-old daughter, I am “the bestest Mommy ever” and she is so thankful that I take such good care of her and her brother. Who knew I had it in me?

I can’t imagine my life without my children. They are such an enormous part of who I am today that I can’t fathom being me without them. I look back and realize that I was a frightened, scarred, and insecure girl 10 years ago. I had the sense to know that motherhood isn’t easy and shouldn’t be approached lightly. However, I failed to see all that I learned from my childhood and less-than-perfect relationship with my parents. All that happened in the past helped prepare me for the mother I am today because I was so determined not to repeat my own parents’ mistakes. I’m so relieved that I finally gave motherhood a chance, for it has changed my life forever!

Happy Mother’s Day to all my readers out there! If you are a mother, grandmother, or other special lady, I hope you have a relaxing day full of love and laughter. And for everyone else, don’t forget to spoil the women in your lives. You know your life wouldn’t be the same without them.

M: Marry-Me Mania

My mom will be getting married in June. My fiancé and I making weddings plans as well. And my brother is engaged now as well. So, weddings are on everyone’s minds right now. My 5-year-old, though, is especially fixated on concept of getting married. Not a day goes by without her asking me a thousands questions about weddings and marriages. She wants to know everything!

I thought it was so cute and funny…until one day, she walked up to me and asked, “Mommy, when can we have my wedding? I know who I‘m going to marry!”

Few parents are ready to let their children go off and start lives of their own, but with my children only in kindergarten and 1st grade, I choked on my morning tea. I was NOT ready to even think about wedding date for my daughter--not that early in the day and not that early in motherhood!

Recovering from my initial shock, I asked her who this person was that she was so determined to marry already. It turns out it is a little boy in her class--her online cyber school class! Yes, folks, my daughter thinks she’s in love with a little boy she’s never met. She has heard her voice many times and has seen a couple photos which he shared with the class. But other than that, she hardly knows him.

I had to smile, though. I remember my first “boyfriend”. His name was Brian (or Bryan, I can’t remember which anymore), and he was my neighbor. We started “dating” in kindergarten and we showered each other with little gifts. When I had to move away not long after the beginning of 1st grade he made me mixed tape (now I realize how talented of a little boy he truly was!) and asked me to marry him. He wanted me to move to his house, so we could be together forever. But alas, our parents wouldn’t have any part of it.

It seems like a couple lifetimes ago, but I still remember how much I cared about Brian and was convinced that we would get married someday. Things seemed so much simpler then. I still sometimes wonder what might have happened if I had never moved. But I have a feeling that our little relationship would have ended long before middle school.

These days few people fight through the hard times to get to get to their golden years. Couples are often too busy fighting among each other and eventually give up than try to fix their problems. It’s shame they will never know what they could have had together. As I watch my little princess scribble little hearts and the little boy’s name on paper, I send silent prayers up that one day, when she is truly ready to be married (and maybe when I’m more ready to give her away) that she finds a man worthy of her love, who will cherish her and protect for a lifetime.

H: Hundred Haven

To celebrate the 100th day of school, my 7-year-old son’s class did a video project that featured what each student thought he or she would look like and be like if they live to be 100 years old. It was a cute project idea, but at first, my son wasn’t a fan. He felt that 100 was far too old and he felt that he could never live that long. Trying to emphasize the hypothetical nature of this project, I asked him what IF he made it that long? What did he think he would look like? What did he think he would be doing? How would he be different, and how would he be the same?

Either my questions got his creative juices flowing or he just got tired of me bothering him about the project. In the end, he came up with a cute illustration and an even cuter explanation of what he might be like if he reaches 100.

He made it clear to me again that he is skeptical that he will ever live to be 100 years old. However, after some thought, he now feels that he does have a chance since his great great grandpa is 93. He told me that if he lives to be 100, he wants to be just like his great great grandfather, who he calls Great Pap-Pap. My son feels that if he reaches 100, he will be bald, wear yellow glasses, and live in an all orange house. He explained to me that since Great Pap-Pap still lives on his own, he feels that he will, too He also explained that he wanted a giant orange house because he loves orange and wants to have space for all his friends and family to come visit.

It warms my heart that my son looks up to his Great Pap-Pap. Even at 7 years old, he seems to have a respect and appreciation for the older generations--something is often lacking in today’s youth. I hope that as he grows older, my son will never forget his love and bond with his great great grandfather and will have many fond memories of the time they’ve spent together. Grandparents are one of the most precious blessings in this world and having the opportunity to know your great great grandfather is rare indeed!

G: Get Your Gardening On!

Coming from a long line of gardeners who have encouraged their children to help from an early age, gardening and working with the land just comes naturally to me. It’s in my blood, so every spring, I’m itching to get out in the yard to prepare the garden beds and to begin planning the yearly crops and new flowers.

This year I have the opportunity to plant a larger vegetable garden than I’ve had available in quite a while. We now have our own home, so I have a zillion other landscaping projects cluttering my mind as well. I’ve even been researching climbing strawberries as a possible addition to our back yard. I am super excited about making my back yard a haven for my family, while utilizing some of that space for delicious produce for all of us to share this year and many years from now.

I am getting my kids just as excited about our gardens. My 5-year-old daughter agreed with me that we need strawberries. Additionally, she has put her order in for some new flowers around our home. Like her mommy, she adores flowers of so many shapes, sizes, and colors.

My 7-year-old son, on the other hand, has asked for lots of tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce, and carrots. He is looking forward to lots of salads, more of my homemade spaghetti sauce, and maybe even some pickles this year. Oh, and he also wants an endless supply of green onions--one of his favorite things to snack on.

Both of my parents passed on to me their love of gardening and beautifying the outdoors. My mom has always been amazing in the garden, while my dad taught me almost everything I know about designing landscapes and maintaining healthy lawns, trees, hedges, and scrubs. I know I still have a lot to learn, but I’m excited to have the opportunity to learn more with my own children and to help them see how fulfilling and fun gardening can be. I hope as they grow they will stay interested and eventually pass the gardening passion on to their own kids. It feels amazing to think that some family traditions may never be broken!

Are you planting a garden this year and having your kids or grandkids help?

Big Bang Baby

My grandma (taken by my daughter)

The perceptions of a child can be so innocent and heartfelt, bringing a renewed clarity to our lives that we may have lost years ago.  They can also be completely bizarre and hilarious, sending us into fits of laughter that can produce tears and hiccups in the gloomiest of individuals.  Both are extremely rewarding, but I hold the laughter-inducing insights closest to my heart.  They can turn the worst of days sunny and take us back to our own days of innocence.  Besides, hearty laughter is good for the soul, right?!

My 5-year-old daughter is particularly funny.  She has a quick wit, much like her mother.  A lot of the time, though, it is purely accidental.  She will look at me with her big brown eyes, flash me a big smile, and then say something that makes me fall over laughing.

Today, she seemed to be on a roll with her hilarious statements.  We were visiting my grandmother for the evening, and my son and daughter were enjoying themselves immensely.  My children absolutely love to go to great grandma’s house because she has a huge yard to play in and she always knows how to spoil them JUST right!

After a delicious spaghetti dinner, we all were relaxing in my grandma’s living room watching TV.  The show “The Big Bang Theory” came on.  My fiancé and I love this show because it is so hilarious, so my fiancé exclaimed, “Hey, ‘The Big Bang Theory’!”

Immediately, without skipping a beat, my daughter tugged on the front of her hair and chimed in, “I’ve got your big bang here . . . !”

We ALL erupted into side-splitting laughter, except for my poor princess, who was clueless to what could be so funny!  We tried to explain to her that that was the name of the TV show.  However, we were laughing so hard that we could barely breathe.  After another attempt at an explanation, she finally understood . . . at least partially.  She batted her eyelashes, grinned, and exclaimed, “Well, my bangs are STILL bigger!”

Father's Day Memories

My father's high school senior photo

With Father’s Day right around the corner, I’ve been thinking about my father, William Dollak, a lot lately.  My daddy, the hero of my life, passed away January 2011 from pancreatic cancer, so this will be the 2nd Father’s Day without him.  Of course, I miss him every day, but when a special day approaches that is a celebration of him, I feel his absence down to my very soul.  I really could go on forever about how much I miss him and the pain his sudden death has left behind, but I want to honor and remember the silly, quirky man that will forever remain in my heart.

My dad was one of those fathers who never failed to make you laugh until your ribs cramped up and your cheeks hurt.  He wasn’t into sophisticated or intellectual humor, although he was nowhere near a dumb, crude hick.  No, he was more like Abbott and Castello with a little Jim Carrey thrown in for good measure!  He wasn’t above a good booger or fart joke, and he had slap stick humor mastered.  Yet, there was always something charming and witty about his jokes, and I never feared taking him anywhere.  He was sensible enough to be behave in public.

I like to think of myself as a unique individual, completely unlike anyone. I must admit, though, that my love of goofy puns and witty sarcasm developed much under his tutelage.  And even though he is gone, I have my crazy sense of humor to carry with me, always a reminder of all the years we spent matching wits and just blowing off steam.  Oftentimes, when a person is still alive we forget or never notice how much they influence our lives.  But once they are gone, it starts to become extremely clear.  I never realized how very alike my father and I were until this past year as I tried to cope with his passing.  It was a difficult journey, one that I never imagined or believed I could endure, but I learned so much about my dad and about myself.

My dad & my son in 2006

My father wasn’t perfect.  No parent is or ever can be.  But as their mistakes and shortcomings fade, we start to truly appreciate their strengths, talents, and gifts.  My dad had a big heart and an even bigger laugh.  He loved to help people and to see the best in others, even when everyone else saw nothing but bad.  Although some people took advantage of his generosity and kindness (seeing it as weakness), I know that he truly cared about others, and he left a lasting mark on some people’s lives because of it.

I hope to pass on his teaching of laughter and love to my own children because the world is in desperate need of more laughter and kindness.  It is my dream to see my dad’s simple legacy continue to live on through me, my children, and then my children’s children.  Even if I never accomplish a single great thing in this life, I hope that my laughter and love will change the world and other’s around me.  In my mind, things like these can cause a ripple effect that could be felt much longer and stronger than fame and fortune could ever bring.

Happy Father’s Day to you all!  Don’t forget to tell the special men in your lives just how much they mean to you.  You never know how much time you have left to express your deepest thoughts and feelings.

HELP! There's a Tree Growing in Me . . .

Seedlings for our garden (2009)

One of the earliest memories I have is the first time my brother and I got to eat watermelon from the rind.  We were sitting outside on my great aunt’s porch with our dad, and he was teaching us how to shoot the seeds out of our mouths.  We were having a wonderful time until I accidentally swallowed one of the seeds.  My dad, always the mischievous jokester, decided it would be funny to pass on some age old ‘wisdom’ that his father had passed down to him.  He frowned at me and sighed, “Well, it looks like you’ll be growing leaves out of your ears and nose soon!”

Immediately, my brother thought that would be cool, but as for me, I can tell you, I was a lot less enthused!  Not wanting to seem like a crybaby in front of my little brother, though, I just laughed.

However, as the days and weeks passed, I constantly checked my nose, ears, and mouth in the mirror to see if I could glimpse anything green starting to poke out of anywhere.  The more time passed, the more I was convinced that one morning I’d wake up with tree limbs poking out of me in every direction.  I even started having awful dreams about it.