Friday, May 4, 2012

The Birthday Blues

Well, today is my birthday, and even though I am nowhere near being old, I’m suffering from the birthday blues.  For the last week, my precious little princess has been asking me every day, “Mommy, when are you going to be 40?!”

For some odd reason, which I still can’t fathom, she is obsessed with the big 4-0.  And it just occurred to me that I am only 12 years away today!  Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those under 30 types, who erroneously believes that 40 is ancient.  In fact, I actually hope to live to a healthy and young 100.

However, a part of me can’t help but stop and wonder where in the world did the time go?!  Sometimes, it seems like just yesterday that I was a kid myself, running around without a care in the world and insisting I’d never grow up.

It is occasions like these that make me reexamine my life, reminding me that the time we have on this earth isn’t infinite.  It is during times like today that I must ask myself the hard questions: am I happy with my life?  What have I accomplished so far?  Am I where I should be?  Or should I kick myself into high gear and start doing more meaningful things?  Am I setting a good example for my children and paving the way properly for a better future for them?  The questions go on and on . . .

It is certainly a sobering reexamination and not always that pleasant.  No one likes to be reminded of their mortality or their shortcomings.  Yet, it is also a wonderful opportunity for growth and renewed focus.  At times, we get so caught up in the daily routine and in the little mundane chores in life that we often forget where we were headed or what we should position as a top priority.

As I look back over the last several years of my life, I see a lot of hard work and good intentions.  But I also see quite a bit of unnecessary stress and worry.  I’m thankful every day that I am nowhere near where I used to be and that I have made leaps and bounds towards the better future I long for myself and my family.  Still, I’m not living life as happily and contently as I should.

Consequently, as I embark on the next year of my life, I vow to remember to enjoy the little things in life more.  I promise to replace worry and doubt with happiness and faith every opportunity I can.  And I pledge to not forget the present in my quest for the future because what is life without the simple joys of the here and now?

4 comments:

  1. Looking at it from almost 50, I often stop to smell the roses and am fully aware that my days are numbered. Life expectancy is only 75 or so. "Gather ye rosebuds while ye may." Go outside. Hug the ones you love. Call the loved ones too far away to hug.

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    1. Cherise, I'm hoping and crossing everything that I have my great grandpa's DNA in me somewhere. He will be 93 this year and still living on his own. His older sister and two younger brothers are just as vibrant and active. That's how I want to live until the day I die!

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