|My son, the smiley baby|
My son (6) and daughter (5) gathered around my laptop, eager to take their first glimpse of their brand-new cousin. My daughter, particularly, was beside herself with anticipation. She had known for a while that the baby was going to be a girl and had been waiting for so long to finally see (as she calls the baby) her new best friend!
When the photo loaded the room was flooded with my children’s exclamations. They thought their new cousin is so cute and the cutest baby ever! And then, the zillion questions started:
“Mommy, what’s her name?”
“When can we see her?”
“Why is she so tiny?”
“Why are her eyes closed?”
“Why is she wearing a hat?”
“Where is her mommy?”
As I tried to answer all their questions, my mind drifted back to the days when my son and daughter were born. Those days were two of the happiest days of my life, and I can’t imagine my life without my kids. Sometimes, I try to picture what I might be like or where I might be in life if I hadn’t been blessed with them. But it’s impossible!
All their hugs, kisses, romping, giggling, smiles, and yes, even their mischief have become such an integral part of my life that who I am has been and continues to be shaped by my children. The old me hasn’t died or been erased. In fact, the old Amanda is still right here. But the more time I spend with my children, the more I grow and evolve, adding on to who and what I used to be.
Some people are terrified of becoming parents because they are afraid they will lose themselves. Yet, after over 6 years of motherhood, I can assure you that you gain so much more than you ever lose. Yes, gone are those late nights out and lazy Saturdays when you can sleep in until noon. Yes, you may find yourself with a few extra pounds and stretch marks. Nonetheless, under it all, you will see that rather than losing yourself, you find more of yourself. Without even trying or expecting to you discover new things about yourself and finally find the person you truly want to be!