The Loss of My Little Helper

I am mourning tonight the disappearance of my little helper. Once upon a time, my 7-year-old son was incredibly eager to always try to help me. He took great joy in little chores around the house and was always asking permission to do this or that for me. Even when he was 2-years-old he loved to clean and help me around the house or the yard.

But today marks the end of a beautiful and amazing era: my little helper isn’t so little anymore and he has now decided he hates chores. Say it isn’t so! I had mistakenly believed this time would never come. I had always assumed that since cleanliness seemed like second nature to my little boy, I would never have to worry about him. Boy, was I wrong!

This evening turned into a huge battle with my son over a tiny little chore…something he used to volunteer for with excitement. Now he tells me that chores aren’t any fun, and I am mean to make him do any work around our house. His words cut me to the deepest part of my heart. Once I was so proud of his strong work ethic and desire to be helpful. Now, I’m left wondering where I went wrong.

In reality, though, my son’s current state of mind has absolutely nothing to do with my parenting skills or lack thereof. He is now becoming much more independent, so he doesn’t like when he is told what to do anymore. Oh, when he chooses to clean he is still an eager beaver, but as soon as I mention that I want him to do that same chore, his stubbornness knocks all sense out of him. He whines, complains, drags his feet, and finds every way possible to take longer or not do nearly as good of a job. Seeing how much effort he puts into not giving his best effort is simultaneously infuriating and saddening. I know I have my work cut out for me until this phase comes to an end.

Maybe someday my little helper will return—and if he does, I promise to never take him for granted again! Maybe he is gone forever. Either way, I must find a means to show my son again why hard work and wholehearted effort is important in life. Slackers and procrastinators get nowhere in this life, and I want the best for my son. I want to see him flourish and succeed, not doom himself to mediocrity and the bare minimum.

Has your child ever gone through a similar stage? Did your little helper ever return? Did you find a way to show your child that working hard and helping out is a crucial part of life? I’d love to hear about your experience!

Mommy Doesn't Work...8 Hours Every Night

It’s funny how kids can so easily misunderstand things. Sometimes, it is pretty funny the way little minds try to understand the world around them. Other times, it’s hard not to feel a little sad about their misconceptions. Recently, my son and I got into a tiny argument about his homework. He didn’t want to practice reading. In fact, he was determined to not do school ever again! I tried to explain to him why reading was so important—an explanation that included that reading was necessary for getting a job.

As soon as those words were out of my mouth, my son glared at me and said, “I don’t plan on ever getting a job. You don’t work, so why should I?!”

I know kids will be kids, and temper tantrums are a part of the parenting journey. Still, his words really stung. I may not work outside my home but raising and cyber-schooling two children is hard work. Besides, I spend an average of 6-8 hours each day working diligently at my writing, long after my family is fast asleep. It may not make me much money now, but I’m working towards something bigger and better that will help make my family more financially stable. I know he is too young to understand that I work my buns off for him and his sister. Yet, it still hurts that it goes unrecognized sometimes.

I hope as he grows older that he will see that everything I do is for the betterment of our family. I frequently skimp on sleep, occasionally pass up on fun activities, and forever plan and refocus myself, so I can offer more for my children. No, I don’t write solely for my children’s benefit. However, a lot of the driving force behind my writing is related to my son and daughter. They give me the added push I need to make myself sit down and work, even when I don’t feel like writing. They also are one of my biggest inspirations for my ideas and creativity. They bring out the best in me and make me always strive to be better than I am now. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without my children, and I thank God every day that I have them in my life!

Q: Quibble, Quarrel, and Quack

I absolutely love being a mom. It is one of the most rewarding experiences, but all parents know that not every moment with children is peaceful and cheery. Sometimes parenting gets downright difficult, gritty, and unpleasant. My kids have now reached the age that they love to argue with each other. When they were younger they spent more time playing by each other than with each other. Consequently, they had arguments, but they were short-lived and not very frequent. And it was usually over a toy or who could sit in Mommy’s lap.

These days, though, I swear my son and daughter will fight over anything and everything. And at times, I am convinced I have a flock of squabbling ducks wadding around my house. The noise level and intensity of their arguments can be astonishing and quite deafening. When they get into ’duck’ mode there is no yelling over them or reasoning with either one of them. As a result, we have implemented a new rule in our house. If they get out of hand with their quarreling, they have to go to their rooms to cool off until they are ready to talk reasonably with each other and are willing to try to find a compromise.

My kids aren’t too fond of this new house rule, but some sanity has returned to our home because of it. Although they still quarrel over silly things at times (i.e., who a penny belongs to or whose turn it is to let out the dog), I’ve noticed the frequency and intensity of their arguments is diminishing. They hate timeouts, so hopefully their dislike will continue to foster better sibling communication and make them realize that some things are not worth squabbling over. They are now the same age as when my brother and I grew so competitive with each other that it was like we were trying to kill one another. I certainly want to avoid such behavior in my kids at all cost!

Do or did your children have trouble communicating or argue much too frequently? What have you found to be helpful with diffusing the situation and lessening the frequency of arguments in your house?