Parenting ABC's: The Crazy Side of Parenting

Parenting IS one of the greatest adventures in life. It holds such joy, happiness, surprise, and laughter. Nevertheless, like any other life adventure, it does have its fair share of chaos, discomfort, and turmoil. So often, it seems like society expects us parents to claim that parenting is all sunshine and smiles. However, I’m going to stand up and shout it out for all to hear: “I’m a mother. Parenting can be hard. And it isn‘t for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach!”

To all the parents who (just like me) love their children more than anything but are tired of society trying to shame us into silence, this is for you:

A is for aches from head to toe.
B is for burps that turn to whoa!
C is for candy stuck to walls.
D is for diaper duty calls.
E is for ears aching at night.
F is for frightening food fights.
G is for gates aren’t baby proof.
H is for he’s gone in a poof!
I is for I’m never alone.
J is for juice-coated cell phones.
K is for kids can multiply.
L is for late, late lullabies.
M is for months that feel like years.
N is for nightmares and big fears.
O is for oh, no, get the wipes!
P is for what’s clogging the pipes?
Q is for quick, get a towel!
R is for rotten and foul.
S is for sleep has come and gone.
T is for teething--dusk to dawn.
U is for unbreakable smashed.
V is for veggies smeared and mashed.
W is for windows licked.
X is for xylophone toys kicked.
Y is for yelling ‘til your hoarse.
Z is for zonked parents, of course!

I originally published this post on Bubblews: http://www.bubblews.com/news/528053-parenting-abc039s-the-crazy-side-of-parenting

© Amanda R. Dollak 2013

E: Ear-Piercing Screams and Eerie Noises

Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings in life. However, kids being the mischievous, energy-filled beings that they are, parenting can also get pretty strange, too. My 7-year-old son has always been on the quiet and laidback side. Of course, he has had his share of temper tantrums and fits of loud, joyful laughter. Still, nothing ever prepared me for my 5-year-old daughter.

Since I can remember, she has been successfully scaring me for years. With her random ear-piercing screams and sounds like she is choking, possessed, dying, or all the above, she keeps me on my toes. From about 9 months, she has enjoyed exploring the range of her voice…much to my heart’s protest!

I remember the first time she imitated choking. My cat had been dealing with a bad bout of hairballs that morning. And while I was busy tending to my poor kitty, I didn’t notice how enthralled she was with the whole situation. That evening we were all at the dinner table. My daughter was sitting in her high chair and my son was sitting on the other side of me in his booster seat. I had just given my daughter her food and turned to hand my son his plate when my daughter started making this heart-stopping sound like she was chocking and couldn’t breathe!

Frantic, I took her out her highchair to attempt to get whatever was chocking her out of her throat…and she suddenly burst out giggling like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. Then, she started making the noise again, smiling the whole time! I really thought that I was going to have a heart attack when I thought she was chocking, so I didn’t find her little performance funny at all! But she was only a baby, so what could I do?

Now that she is older, she understands better that making chocking noises is wrong. But I swear that I live in a haunted house with all the crazy screams and noises that come out of her mouth at times! I’m not easily frightened, but every now and then, my little princess comes up with a new sound effect or voice that scares the daylights out of me! Maybe one day she will outgrow this fascination and quit scaring me. Or perhaps, she find something useful for her talents and give me some rest.

Have your children ever terrified you with some of their noises or screams?

My Babies Yesterday, Today & Always

My princess at 2 years old

My son and daughter will always be my babies, no matter how old they become.  However, now that they are a first grader and a kindergartner  I sometimes miss their younger days.  I know that every moment wasn’t easy.  In fact, they had me constantly on my toes with their creative mischief.

Still, every time I see an old photo of their dimpled smiles, chubby faces, and tiny hands and feet, my heart begins to melt and ache just a little.  I miss the koala bear hugs, the long cuddles, the sloppy kisses, and the irresistible giggles.  I long for the relentless curiosity, the sweet innocence, and yes, that new baby smell.

When my children were smaller I gave them both snuggle names.  My son was my Cuddle Bug, and my daughter was my Snuggle Bunny.  They were Mommy’s babies to the core and adored hugging and cuddling up with me for hours.  It was the greatest feeling ever!

My kids continue to be affectionate, but it has changed.  They no longer want to sit in my lap nearly as much.  They have much more important things to do these days like play with their friends or go off on their own adventures.  I still get hugs and kisses, but they aren’t nearly as clingy or slobbery.  Plus, they are usually reserved for bedtime or special times.

I know my kids can’t stay small forever, and I’m so proud of how much they have grown and blossomed over the years.  But part of me will always miss the days when I was the center of their world.  Life will continue to move on, and they will continue to grow.  They will eventually have families of their own someday.  Yet, one thing will never change: they will forever be the center of MY world!

Mommy's Valentines

A valentine from my daughter

You are Mommy’s valentines;
Your sweet kisses fill my heart.
You will forever be mine,
For I’ve loved you from the start.

Your smiles brighten my day.
Your laughter lifts up my soul.
Your warm hugs take me away
And on the rough days, console

I’m not sure why God chose me
To have two children like you,
But I’m happy as can be
And feeling super blessed, too!

You are the best surprises
That I could ever ask for,
And each time the sun rises,
I thank God a little more.

I never knew love at all,
‘Til I held you in my arm--
Your bodies so frail and small--
And vowed to keep you from harm.

Right now you can’t understand
How much you’ve affected me,
But one day you’ll see firsthand
That you’ve set my spirit free!

My Imaginary Bundle of Joy

Meet the newest member of our family, Chaya.  Yes, she’s only two dimensional and doesn’t have any hands or feet to speak of.  However, she’s part of the family just the same.  She loves the color pink and has lots of pretty black hair.  Her favorite animals are horses, and she wants to be a doctor when she grows up.  She is the “bestest” baby sister in the whole wide world, too . . . well, at least according to my 5-year-old daughter.

My little girl is still going through baby sister withdrawal.  Her best friend finally got a baby sister last year (after having to deal with 4 brothers for years).  And ever since then, my daughter has asked and asked and ASKED for her own baby sister.  She has prayed for one, asked Santa Claus for one, and even asked Grandma to buy her one for her birthday.  She has even asked for her younger cousin (by 3 months) to come live with us so she could have a best friend and sister every day!

In her 5-year-old world, she can’t comprehend why she just can’t have a baby sister.  So, she has become desperate enough to make one up.  In fact, she’s drawn several pictures of her.  She plays with her imaginary baby sister, Chaya now a regular basis.   She pretends they are having tea parties together.  She has imaginary dress-up, makeup sessions with her baby sister.  My little princess even makes up stories about adventures they have had together.

At first, I was a little concerned.  Was my daughter getting enough attention?  Was she playing enough with other children?  Was I spending enough time with her?  Finally, I asked her about Chaya and if she knew that she really didn’t have a baby sister.

To my relief, she replied immediately, “Oh, I know, Mommy.  I’m just practicing for when I do get a baby sister!”

I suppose time will tell if she will ever have a real baby sister.  I know I’m not ready right now to be considering another baby.  But you never know.  Every now and then, I catch myself missing those days.  I see the tiniest, cutest baby shoes and think, I really want these!  Or I see a smiling, giggling baby ahead of me in the checkout lane and my heart skips a beat and melts at the pure sweetness.  I admit I miss the cuddles and snuggles with my babies.  I still haven’t been able to part with all the adorable baby outfits my kids have long outgrown.  Yes, perhaps, one day there might be another little Amanda in my arms . . . and then we shall see if it’s everything my daughter expects.

The Blessings of Parenthood

My son, the smiley baby

Yesterday evening, my family welcomed a new addition.  My cousin had her fourth child, a precious baby girl.  Since she and her family don’t live near by, we waited impatiently for the first photos to be shared on Facebook.  Finally, last night, I received a notification that a photo had been posted and I was ecstatic!  There’s nothing like the excitement after the birth of a newborn baby.

My son (6) and daughter (5) gathered around my laptop, eager to take their first glimpse of their brand-new cousin.  My daughter, particularly, was beside herself with anticipation.  She had known for a while that the baby was going to be a girl and had been waiting for so long to finally see (as she calls the baby) her new best friend!

When the photo loaded the room was flooded with my children’s exclamations.  They thought their new cousin is so cute and the cutest baby ever!  And then, the zillion questions started:

“Mommy, what’s her name?”
“When can we see her?”
“Why is she so tiny?”
“Why are her eyes closed?”
“Why is she wearing a hat?”
“Where is her mommy?”

As I tried to answer all their questions, my mind drifted back to the days when my son and daughter were born.  Those days were two of the happiest days of my life, and I can’t imagine my life without my kids.  Sometimes, I try to picture what I might be like or where I might be in life if I hadn’t been blessed with them.  But it’s impossible!

All their hugs, kisses, romping, giggling, smiles, and yes, even their mischief have become such an integral part of my life that who I am has been and continues to be shaped by my children.  The old me hasn’t died or been erased.  In fact, the old Amanda is still right here.  But the more time I spend with my children, the more I grow and evolve, adding on to who and what I used to be.

Some people are terrified of becoming parents because they are afraid they will lose themselves.  Yet, after over 6 years of motherhood, I can assure you that you gain so much more than you ever lose.  Yes, gone are those late nights out and lazy Saturdays when you can sleep in until noon.  Yes, you may find yourself with a few extra pounds and stretch marks.  Nonetheless, under it all, you will see that rather than losing yourself, you find more of yourself.  Without even trying or expecting to you discover new things about yourself and finally find the person you truly want to be!

Vacuum Cleaners: Sleep-Aid of the Baby World

My poor son suffered from colic for months as a baby.  He would cry and cry all night long, no matter how much I rocked or bounced him.  I was at my wit’s end!  I had followed every suggestion that his doctors had given me, but nothing seemed to help much.  I kept him in a baby sling or carrier close to me at all times, hoping that my presence would soothe him.  However, that did little to stop his constant bawling at night.

Finally, one night, all alone with no way for a break from my poor baby’s crying, I decided to vacuum while I carried him in his baby carrier on my chest.  If I couldn’t make his crying stop, perhaps I could escape by drowning it out for a while with an even louder noise.  My sanity depended on at least a small reprieve!

As soon as I turned the vacuum cleaner on, however, something miraculous happened: my son fell asleep!  Thinking I had finally made it through the worst that night, I turned the vacuum cleaner off, but my baby boy started screaming the moment it was off.  I turned it back on, he sniffled a bit and then fell back to sleep once again.  And once again, I turned off the machine, only to have him startle awake immediately.

It was the strangest thing I had ever seen!  It was as if his off switch was connected to the vacuum cleaner’s on switch.  From that night on, I vacuumed until he was soothed and able to stay asleep.  It was rough on my back and my arms constantly felt like they were going to fall off my body.  My vacuum cleaner, new at the time, didn’t even last 3 years because of the extended use during those difficult months.  Yet, I count myself lucky to have helped my son through such a difficult situation and with my sanity intact!

Baby Sisters: Buy 1, Get 1 Free

I remember when I was a little girl my parents were too embarrassed to explain where babies come from, so they told me the ol’ stork story.  Believe me, that brought a lot of confusion and shock when I started school and learned from my little classmates that this wasn't so!

Although I am nowhere near ready for sex education with my own children yet, I decided that a more accurate but delicate approach would be better.  From when they were toddlers, I’ve told my children stories of all the kicking and somersaulting they did inside my belly.  I’ve shown them photos of my protruding stomach from both of my pregnancies.  I’ve even told them about the special time we spent at the hospital after they were born.

I thought for sure both of my kids understood the basic concept that babies come from mommies’ bellies.  Apparently, though, after all this time, my 4-year-old daughter still doesn’t quite get it.