If Blogs Were Houseplants...

If blogs were houseplants, I would be in serious trouble!  They would surely be dead by now.  I have been neglecting my blogs lately.  They are shriveling and drying up.  They are crying out desperately for some love and attention.  And I really don’t blame them…

When I started all three of my blogs I didn’t really have a plan.  It was more of an impulse.  I had some ideas.  I live to write.  I wanted some place where I could write whatever inspired me.  And it wouldn’t hurt for me to have some extra writing practice either.  So, I jumped in headfirst, eager to test the waters.

At first, my enthusiasm carried me along.  Sometimes I would go a few days without posting, but I eagerly came running back  I never run out of ideas to write about, so I was convinced that at least three posts per blog per week would be a breeze.

Boy, was I wrong!  I never planned on my son having difficulties in school and needing much more of my attention for the 2012-2013 school year.  I had underestimated how greatly my fibromyalgia affects my concentration and my ability to sit at a desk.  I hadn’t planned on my mom getting married or the week-long vacation that followed.  Oh, and I never realized how insane it can be to plan your own wedding in only three months.

I know, excuses, excuses.  Blogs are a commitment and when we start them we make a promise our readers to keep them up and running.  Still, knowing now where I went wrong from the beginning, I can now make a new beginning and start over fresh.  From now on, I’m going to put regular posts into my schedule, and even if it is only once a week per blog until I get my true blogging legs, at least I can revel in the consistency.

Thank you for understanding and supporting my journey into blogging.  I hope you continue to check back in the coming weeks to see what new posts I have in store.  You never know what new treasures you might find amongst all this blogging dust!

Mommy Doesn't Work...8 Hours Every Night

It’s funny how kids can so easily misunderstand things. Sometimes, it is pretty funny the way little minds try to understand the world around them. Other times, it’s hard not to feel a little sad about their misconceptions. Recently, my son and I got into a tiny argument about his homework. He didn’t want to practice reading. In fact, he was determined to not do school ever again! I tried to explain to him why reading was so important—an explanation that included that reading was necessary for getting a job.

As soon as those words were out of my mouth, my son glared at me and said, “I don’t plan on ever getting a job. You don’t work, so why should I?!”

I know kids will be kids, and temper tantrums are a part of the parenting journey. Still, his words really stung. I may not work outside my home but raising and cyber-schooling two children is hard work. Besides, I spend an average of 6-8 hours each day working diligently at my writing, long after my family is fast asleep. It may not make me much money now, but I’m working towards something bigger and better that will help make my family more financially stable. I know he is too young to understand that I work my buns off for him and his sister. Yet, it still hurts that it goes unrecognized sometimes.

I hope as he grows older that he will see that everything I do is for the betterment of our family. I frequently skimp on sleep, occasionally pass up on fun activities, and forever plan and refocus myself, so I can offer more for my children. No, I don’t write solely for my children’s benefit. However, a lot of the driving force behind my writing is related to my son and daughter. They give me the added push I need to make myself sit down and work, even when I don’t feel like writing. They also are one of my biggest inspirations for my ideas and creativity. They bring out the best in me and make me always strive to be better than I am now. I honestly believe I wouldn’t be the writer I am today without my children, and I thank God every day that I have them in my life!

A to Z April Blogging Challenge Reflections

As a mother, I always want to encourage my children to dream big and never give up on their deepest desires. Yet, I find myself so frequently using lame excuses why I can’t write. I’m too busy. I’m too tired. I have a million other things to do. I’m not feeling up to it right now. I need to watch just one more TV show. My day was just too hectic. The words just aren’t flowing right. The excuses go on and on and on forever if I let them.

The truth is, though, I am meant to write. Even when I convince myself I’m not in the mood to write, the desire is always there. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night because my dreams give me awesome ideas to write about. Whole strings of poetry come flooding into my mind at the strangest times. Some ideas won’t leave my head until I finally write them down. And I don’t feel like myself unless I write on a regular basis.

I AM a writer. There is no point in trying to put my writing on the back burner. It is always going to force its way back into my mind. Besides, the more I write the happier I become. Why have I fought this integral part of my being for so many years? It’s time to embrace my writing abilities and to see where they will take me! 

The A to Z April Blogging Challenge, for the last two years, has helped me see just how important writing is in my life. Although I’ve spent plenty of late nights scrambling to keep up with this challenge (especially this year since I entered three blogs), I got a sweet taste of what I am capable of and how much I can accomplish under pressure.

Not long after the 2013 A to Z Challenge began, I started to doubt my sanity. I had barely finished one blog last year. How was I going to blog through the alphabet with three blogs? I had to be a crazy to think I could write 78 posts in a month in addition to all of my other obligations!

I’m never one to give up easily, so I pushed through the challenge with all three blogs—just barely—but I made it! I was exhausted and pretty frazzled, but I felt so proud of myself and even a little surprised that I had it in me. The 2013 A to Z Challenge has revealed that there is a lot more potential inside of me than I’d ever given myself credit. And I am determined now to reach far with my writing—just like I encourage my two children.

I may have taken a small break this week to recover from the challenge madness, but I am determined more than ever to write daily. No more lame excuses. No more convincing myself that I can always write later. No more thinking that I don’t have the ability in me. It’s time to dream bigger and work even harder to be the writer I’ve always secretly wanted to be!

That's So Rad!

A page from my my daughter's book

My daughter has decided that she wants to be a writer some day just like Mommy, so she’s been creating her own little books this week.  Since she is only in kindergarten, I am often amused by some of her little spelling errors.  Today, she made a 4-page story for me and my fiancé, complete with cute illustrations and staples to hold the papers together.

As I read each page, I was so proud of my little girl!  Just this year her handwriting, spelling, and artwork have blossomed.  Her books are so adorable that I want to scoop her up in my arms and give her a giant bear hug every time.  Seeing her share my love of drawing, writing, and reading will forever stay in a special place in my heart.

When I reached the last page of her latest book, though, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud!  There, above a cute illustration herself, my daughter had written, “The hat is rad.”  Although I knew right away that she had meant “red” not “rad”, it made me chuckle until I teared up.  Confused, she asked me, “What’s so funny, Mommy?”

I asked her if she knew what “rad” means and she only shook her head.  In my explosive giggling state, her puzzled look only made me laugh harder.  How do you explain to a 5-year-old that years ago—which seems like an eternity for her—that you and your little friends used to think they were so cool by calling things “radical” or “totally rad”?  Yeah, we thought we were big shots back then.  Now those terms have fallen away replace all new slang words.

It makes me wonder what else my kids will never experience.  Because I still love to play records, they know what a record player is.  However, they have never seen someone make a mixed tape.  They have no idea what a pager is.  They have never gotten the chance to feel the frustration and then the sheer joy of having to blow into their video games to make them work.  They can’t imagine life without computers, cell phones, Leap Pads, and toys with tons of features.  They are shocked when I mention that I didn’t grow up with Sponge Bob, Dora, Diego, Phineas & Ferb, or Max & Ruby.  It’s just another reminder of how things are constantly changing and how fast time flies by!

The Importance of a Sincere Apology

An apology note from my daughter.

I’ve tried to instill in my kids the importance of apologizing when they do something wrong or when they hurt someone’s feelings. It doesn’t matter whether the offense was big or small, intentional or accidental. And it doesn’t matter whether the other person accepts the apology or ‘deserves’ it. These days it seems that far too many people have lost the common sense and the responsibility of a simple “I’m sorry.” And I don’t want my children to join this number!

My 5-year-old daughter’s reading and spelling abilities seem to be improving by the day. She takes so much pleasure and pride in being able to read and write some now…so much so that her favorite pastime right now is writing people notes. Her beginner’s spelling abilities don’t hold her back either. She plods along, sounding things out to the best of her ability.

She produces artwork now that has a ‘to’ and ‘frem’ note scribbled on the back. I get little love notes from her that say ‘I love you Mommy!’ and that feature lots of purple and pink hearts. She has started writing little poems and stories, wanting to be just like me. But the note that touched my heart the most was an apology note that said ‘i AM SOREE.”

Last week, we had a rough day. My daughter was feeling cranky and tired. And she just didn’t want to do school. I told her that she HAD to complete her school work for the day because school is very important. Suffice it to say she didn’t take kindly to my reasoning and once again told me that she hated me.

I had been having a rough day, too, so I teared up a little at her outburst. I sent her to her room for a timeout so she could calm down and think about her behavior. Five minutes later, she returned to me with her little note. I read it and then asked her what she was sorry about. She immediately started crying and told me, “Mommy, I’m sorry that I made you cry. I don’t hate you. I love you so much! I’m sorry I was so mean.”

She gave me the biggest hug and then gave me a kiss on my cheek. Her brown eyes still glistening with tears, she smiled and said, “Mommy, I promise to write you a note every time I make you mad or sad. Then you will always know I’m really sorry because I work very hard at spelling my words!”

This got me thinking about how so many people can’t even take a couple seconds to say they are sorry, but my little girl spent 5 whole minutes trying to figure out how to write out ‘I am sorry’ for the first time. Why is it that as we get older we change? Is it pride or rudeness? Do our hearts become complacent or even hardened? Are we too rushed to notice that we have wronged others or too busy to care? If only we could throw all of that away and just apologize immediately, life would be a lot simpler and more pleasant, wouldn’t it?

When Mommy Grows Up...

The sky is the limit!

As part of a school project, my kids and I have been talking a lot lately about what they might want to be when they grow up. My son wants to design vac trucks (the bigger the better!), drive a school bus, and play guitar and keyboard in a band. My daughter, also on the band kick, wants to be a rock star, as well as design clothes and be a cook at a restaurant. It is so refreshing to see their youthful, innocent enthusiasm! For them, the possibilities are truly endless.

And then, my daughter innocently asked me this week, “What you wanna be when you grow up, Mommy?”

Laying aside the fact that I’m already an adult and thus have been ‘grown up’ for quite some time, I gave it some thought. I remember when I was a little girl I had a huge list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I was 30:

• Publish a book
• Become an astronaut and jump on the moon
• Train to be the NFL’s first female quarterback and win a Super Bowl
• Dig up a new species of dinosaur
• Build a machine that could turn Monopoly money into real money
• Design and build unique houses for famous people
• Become a singer/songwriter/rockin’ guitarist
• Develop super powers and fight crime

With my twenties winding down, let’s just say I’m falling a little short here on the life goals! Publish a book? Well, I’m getting close with this one…if only I could finish one novel, instead of starting a new one every few months. My astronaut ambition? With the NASA cuts and the physical strain of the training, it’s not going to happen…unless I write it into my book, of course.

NFL’s first female quarterback? Again, the physical strain would kill me…if the opposing team didn’t do it first. A dinosaur archaeological discovery? Hey, this could still happen someday, just not before I’m 30. Building a Monopoly money converter? It’s a lucrative idea but quite illegal (hello, money counterfeiting!).

An architect for the famous? I doubt it, but I still hope to design my dream house someday. A music career? Nope, that’s not going to happen either…although the songwriter part is still plausible. And my super hero dreams? Um, this one is probably the most unlikely out of all of them (read ‘virtually impossible’ here)…unless of course, I get so rich from my books and songs that I can hire a team of scientists to make me Iron Woman.

All kidding aside, I think I’ve made progress, but my life goals are still evolving. Perhaps we never do actually grow up in this sense, no matter how old we get. Life is all about changing, growing, and reinventing ourselves. What is important to us now may only be a distant memory tomorrow. I think what I want my children to learn the most from their school project is how important it is for them (1) to find the things they love, (2) to keep dreaming big, and (3) to never be afraid to start a new dream.

Typing to the Tapping Tempo

As I am writing this blog post today, my ears are being attacked by a firestorm of loud taps. Tap, tap, TAP!  Ta-tap, Ta-tap, Tap-tap!  No, I am not abusing my laptop keys.  And no, I haven’t gone old school and opted for a typewriter.  Actually, my daughter (who will be 5 later this month) has donned her dress-up shoes and has decided she was born to tap dance.

I actually had an entirely different post planned for today.  However, her new-found passion has suddenly changed the direction of mine.  Just a few short moments ago, this transpired in my living room:

Across the carpet, my daughter stamps--tap, tap, tap.  Not satisfied with the subdued taps, she abruptly changes directions and heads straight for the only hardwood floor in the entire house (the front foyer).  TAP, TAP TAAAAAP!  Beaming with glee, she attempts a complicated move.  Suddenly, her left shoe comes soaring through the air, bounces off my head, and lands on the keyboard of my laptop.

All in all, I’d say this is not the best writing environment.  Yet, all writers know that regardless of external circumstances, we must write.  So, I asked her to keep her tapping to a minimum and to avoid sending any more shoes into flight . . . and on I write.  Tap, tap, TAP!  Ta-tap, ta-tap, tap-tap, TAP!

However, now that her tap dancing has tamed a bit, the tempo is becoming quite soothing.  As she quickens her pace, I find my fingers flying across the keyboard--matching tap for tap.  I have even thought to myself a time or two already, hey, I could get used to this!  Ta-tap, tap, TAP!  Ta-tap, tap, TAP!  Ta-tap, tap, TAP!  I’m loving this rhythm!  I could do this all day.

If you would have told me just a half an hour ago that I would be loving this tap fest, I would’ve thought you were insane.  Who knew something that started out as a horrible distraction could turn so quickly into a quirky creative partnership?

Tap on, little princess.  Keep those fast tempos and glorious rhythms coming.  Let your little feet express your inner joy . . . I know my flying fingers are!

A to Z Challenge 2012 Reflections

When I signed up for the A to Z Blogging Challenge only a few short days before it started (April 1) part of me felt I was insane!  I was a blogging newbie with only 3 blog posts under my belt.  The rational side of me knew that this challenge could prove to be a valuable and rewarding experience, helping me to mold myself into the open and flowing writer I hoped to become this year.  Yet, the idea of having to write 6 days a week when I hadn’t written regularly in years made me tremble.  Going into the challenge, I couldn’t ignore the little voice in my mind, whispering, “You’re insane!  You’re never going to make it!”

Nevertheless, here I am a week after the challenge with 26 blog posts, all submitted on-time and with my heart in every single one of them.  Of course, I had a couple bad days.  There were a couple times my scheduled posts didn’t post when they were supposed to post.  Several of my posts were completed later in the day than I had planned.  I even went through a bout of writer’s block near the end.  But I conquered my fears and doubts, never once allowing any obstacle to stand in my way.

To know I finished the challenge is such a satisfying and empowering feeling!  A week later, I swear my inner writer is still floating high above the world in total bliss . . . and I can’t wait to attempt the challenge again next year!  If you are a blogger and have not attempted the A to Z Challenge, I encourage you to consider it for next year.  I cannot express how much the challenge has boosted my confidence and freed my writing.  I am writing freer and better than I have in years largely because the challenge allowed me to practice my art regularly and actively dared me to be more confident and courageous with my writing.

I would like to thank all my readers who have shared this wonderful challenge with me, as well as all the amazing fellow bloggers I have met along the way.  You all have made this adventure fun and even more rewarding.  I am especially happy to say, though, that this isn’t goodbye.  This leg of the journey is now complete, but the journey itself is nowhere near over.  I’d love for each and every one of you to continue journeying with me as I further write about the humorous and quirky side of parenting.

The Importance of Childhood Dreams

A Double Rainbow

Recently, my 6-year-old son had a school assignment that asked him to imagine what he might want to be when he grows up.  At first, he was extremely uncooperative, insisting that he didn’t know.  After I pressed him further, he got more shielded and claimed that he didn’t need to know because he was never going to grow up!

At that point, I decided it would be best for us to take a break.  Watching him and his sister play “restaurant” from across the room, I tried to take myself back to the day when it was me and my younger brother having little squabbles over which plate goes where and what pretend meals to cook.  Was I once that hesitant to share my dreams with my own mother?  Did I even have any dreams of the future at all?  Or was I too busy being a kid and enjoying the simple things in life to realize the possibilities?