A: Ask Before You Eat

A Smiley Lunch

My kids can be so sweet. My son, 7, and my daughter, 5, love to make me food. They’ll serve me toast in the morning, bring me little snacks, and even make me lunches when I am super busy with my writing. Pictured here is a smiley lunch my daughter put together for me all on her own. It consisted of a ham and cheddar cheese sandwich with hot pepper eyes and a banana smile. Most of the time, their offerings are delicious and welcomed with open arms.

However, there was a time, in the not-so-distant past, when I was conditioned to ask questions first and then eat later. No matter how much my kids protested or cried, my life--ok, my stomach--depended on it. Yes, they always tried to feed me edible items. There wasn’t any guarantee, though, of where the food came from or how it got to be in my possession.

You may be thinking oh, it can’t be that bad, right? Wrong! Imagine months old, loose raisins that have occupied the bottom of a toy box. How about a piece of candy that was unwrapped, sniffed by an extra runny nose, and then offered to you on a crumpled tissue that fell on the floor? Sound appetizing yet? Better yet, could I offer you a pretzel with all the salt licked off with a side of mustard taste-tested by the family dog?

Yum! Those were the days. Fine food, exotic seasoning, and a couple of little ones to wait on me hand and foot--how could I ask for more?